Why does my 9 year old need vaccination from STDs?

So, it’s a good thing that a vaccine exists for HPV. Cervical cancer is no joke.

But let’s be honest. HPV isn’t something that kids just magically get. It’s not spread by sitting in classrooms. It’s not even spread by normal gross childhood behavior like a lack of handwashing, picking noses, and all the other disgusting things children do in the giant germ factories we lump our children into all day long.

HPV spreads via promiscuous sex.

The argument made is that we should vaccinate our children just in case they’re raped.


Guess what? I already “vaccinated” my children against rape by removing them from the single most likely source of sexual abuse – the public schools. It’s also the place they’re far and away the most likely to engage in sexually promiscuous behavior. Or it would be if they were there.

We’ll pass on the Gardasil, thank you, in favor of teaching our children not to be skanks.

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